Saturday, August 13, 2005

Profile for rage***

Names *ed to protect the guilty!

I was browsing and checking messages on AFF and found a profile I had to share:
Ok really, why does anyone look on these websites. Are they for real. Do most look here because they have no time to get out, Or are they just Really looking for fun. Me I am looking For fun LOL. I get out alot but most of the time its with the guys at the regular bar hang out. Unless you want to take a drunk lady home Forget about it. I love the lake, I have a 21 ft boat, and i try to get on the lake as much as possible in the summertime. I love camping. I Hunt yes DEER. Love time in the outdoors anywhere. Love sports and love to go to ***** once a year and bet on a few Football Games. Dislikes Really gotta piss me off, I am a pain in the ass but in a good JOKING around kinda way. I am married and i am 29. Love my wife but Would like a discreet relationship with NOSTRINGS.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Dating an Older Man

So I've been living with DCG since 6/28. I went home for a week, but it's been almost a month since I moved in.

DCG is in his early 40's. I'm 22. I'm looking for advice on dating older men.

DCG tells me he has this horrible fear of waitresses saying something like "Oh, you and your lovely daughter..." but that hasn't happened, and I don't know if it will. Honestly, the stares from other people haven't been as prevalent as I thought they would, and I don't think they're as prevalent as DCG thinks they are. He seems much more bothered by this than I am.

The other day we went to dinner and the waitress was talking with us. I thought she was flirting with me (I wrote my phone number on a napkin for her--she hasn't called... yet), but DCG was convinced she was "playing the 'Guess This Couple's Relationship' game." I never know what to say when he says things like this except silly comments like "Don't be ridiculous"... because... he's not being ridiculous.

What am I supposed to say to allay his fears? And what do I say or do should (gods forbid) the waitress/check-out lady/bartender/whoever actually says something like "You and your daughter..."?

Our age difference doesn't bother me, like I thought it might. I don't want it to bother him, either. Sometimes, I know it does. I was telling him some story and he made a reference to the Roman conquest of Gaul (yes, I obsessively looked it up so that next time I'll know what the hell he's talking about!) that was completely over my head. He gave me this look like I'm 12 and don't know shit about shit and what the hell's he doing talking to me, anyway? Those moments, luckily, are fairly rare. I'm incredibly well-read, in the process of becoming formally educated, always self-educating, and, at the risk of sounding unforgivably arrogant, smarter than everyone else. I can keep up... usually.

There was only one time when our age difference did bother me. That was when I went to meet his family for lunch and I heard his niece (who is older than I am) call him "Uncle -----." I don't know why, but it startled me and shook me up a bit. I recovered quickly, and have threatened to call DCG "Uncle -----," much to his chagrin.

The area where I thought our age difference would be most prominent has turned out to be such a wonderful surprise. We're at it at least twice a day, and he's very attentive to what I like and don't like, what drives me crazy, how to get me to make my "O" face. I think that he gets tired fairly quickly, and once he's done, he's done for at least an hour. But he makes me feel so incredible... I can't even describe it.

Anyway, now that I'm all hot and bothered I'm going to wrap this up and go... uhm... take a shower. Yeah... But I know that I'm not the only young woman who's dating an older man. Ladies, help! What do I do? What should I know about? What should I be prepared for?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

*Date #7: The DCG Experience

This was actually written on 6/13 but I thought that my avid readers would appreciate me posting it here.

Ok, so we all know that DCG ruined his chances at giving me the "Don't Care Guy Experience." When you stalk her blog, write her love email, and talk to her on the phone for 3 hours a day, she's going to know you give a shit about her. But I did have a pleasant experience :)

DCG called me on his way into Vegas. I had been taking a lovely bath in preparation for his arrival, but pulled myself out, dressed, did hair, makeup, high heels, and bells, and went to his hotel. I called when I got there, he said he was already in his room and would come down and meet me. I wasn't my usual CCC self (cool, calm, and collected) - I was nervous and scared. An attraction online, or on the phone, or even an attraction to someone's intellect does not a relationship make. What would I feel when I saw him??? Would I be so repulsed I'd turn around and run back to my car, and back to Mark and Vegas forever? Or would I swoon with the overwhelming power of my blooming affections for him and fall into his arms? Or... which may be the best... would I be so overwhelmingly attracted to him my knees would buckle with the rush of other parts of me blossoming?

What actually happened was none of these things. DCG turned, saw me, smiled, and tried to hug me, which of course I balked at, and the first words out of my mouth were "We need a drink." We hurried to the bar and there I ordered a greyhound on a whim (it's my father's drink - paging Dr. Frued!) and made small talk about the drive, none of which I remember.

Let me stop here a moment. DCG, this is for you: I am going to be utterly honest in the next few paragraphs. you may choose to stop reading here. In fact, I recommend it.

You see, dear readers, DCG is in his early 40's and I am 22. I've dated older men, most mid 30's, and one of my professors, who was in his mid 50's. But all that I could think about, sitting there in those first moments, was how old DCG looked.

Is that cruel of me?

I suppose it was startling because whenever we had interacted, it was as peers, and the issue of age had hardly come up (when it did, I brushed it aside as useless banter). I have always had a healthy respect for those older than me. I've always deffered to age, whether it was right to or not (I don't know). Here sat DCG, who I had played the power struggle game with, the game I always play, and suddenly, startlingly, I was faced with the realization that he had the advantage of 20 years over me. Not to mention - what did the bartender think?

It was tense, I was nervous perhaps all of that first day. DCG was always touching me, so dreamy-eyed for me, I was repelled. Me??? Touchy-feely in public??? In dark bars with men I'll never see again, what does it matter if they grope me with drunken lust in their eyes? But in the mall, with someone whom I may or may not be developing rather serious feelings for, when it is done with affection and longing... it means something very different. Something frightening and powerful.

I shied away, I balked, I hedged.

I couldn't sleep that night, in bed beside him in the hotel. He wanted sex. But it wasn't that he wanted sex, I could have given him that. He wanted to make love, something I haven't done in years and am not prepared to do. Not with someone I've known for so short a time and seen for less than 24 hours.

We slept in. We went to breakfast. I went home and took a bath, redid my hair and makeup, dressed, and went back to the hotel. Things were easier, then. We talked.

We went to dinner, then I took him to a sacred place of mine. I think he tried too hard to feel it, to make me think he had felt it. We went back to the hotel. I went home and slept in my own bed.

I drove my roommate to work at 5 am today, then went to the hotel. I had a key, so I entered and woke him up. We talked, laid in bed together. He didn't stop touching me. Then I fell asleep and woke up in time to gather my things and leave. He walked me out. As I drove away, he stared at me with longing.

He looks at me like a starving man, one who will die without my touch. He thinks he's in love with me. Maybe he is. Maybe I've grown cold after "marathon dating" and unpleasant experiences and not knowing what the hell I want. I just can't give in so fast.

How we met: here and on his blog.

DCG's first date rating: 9.5 I'm moving to Tucson to stay with him. We'll see how things develop. I adore him. I feel now that this entry has been harsh, but again that's me being weary. We have so much in common, we talk easily and have such fun. We're good for each other.

Just too good not to share...

Do men think this will work? Was this guy high? It gets creepier each time I read it. Names *ed to protect the guilty :)
Sender: youngstud*****
To: sammy********
Date: Jul 20, 2005 11:36 PM MDT

maybe, you'd like to meet sometime for my cock. what kinda good music do you enjoy? let me get my cock rock hard then cum in your mouth, i would lick your thighs and work my way to your hot spot, then proceed to work that clit and increase stimulationu as you admire my rock hard cock waiting to penetrate your soul, i will fuck your soul and then leave you to dry, i do not care about you as a person, you would strictly be a sex tool for me, i would treat you like shit, then leave you to dry. but you would enjoy my cute cock in your cunt, i look forward to hearing from you, great times, great times, for all, i love foreing ,movies with voice overs, they make me cry in ways i can't understand, my emotions break down into little imperfect pieces of a gigantic puzzle that will never be solved. my life, my life, is that of one, who has no faith, no belief, in a god, or a christ, i feel nothing, i am nothing, neither are you, don't fool yourself. you will rot with me and the rest until eternity, there is no heaven, there is no hell. i hope i made your night completely un imaginable. i will rock now.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Am I using the right bait?

Consider the type of guy you want… where does he spend his time? What are his hobbies? Get yourself into the places where your perfect guy might be and maybe you’ll meet him there. Think about it- if you’re not looking for a heavy drinker, don’t try to meet guys in a bar.

So... I've been meeting people on a sex site, at bars, and online. I guess if I don't want a guy who's just interested in my tits, is an alcoholic, and is obsessed with MMORPG's, I should start looking elsewhere. But where?

I'm looking for someone who likes to drink. I'm sick of meeting guys who don't drink. I like to drink and I want to drink, so I guess bars are OK.

I'm looking for someone who will play pool with me, so I could try the pool hall.

I'm looking for someone who is an artist or musician or poet or painter... So... Bookman's? The bar? The streetcorner? The unemployment office?

I'm looking for a magician. So... Uhm... Shit. Should I follow the sound of the drums? The trail of chicken entrails? The scent of Nag Champa?

Where do you go to meet people?

Monday, July 18, 2005

Trip to Vegas

I got into Tucson about two hours ago from a five day trip back home to Vegas. Of course, I saw Mark.

Mark and I had a huge fight about him not letting me talk to his friends and family. He has one friend in particular, a girl he grew up with, whom he talks to all the time. I asked for her phone number. He refused to give it to me. And for some reason... I decided to push the issue. It seems completely unreasonable, now, but we ended up having a large argument. It was resolved when I told Mark that I want to meet his friends and family and talk to them because if they don't like me, there's no reason to pursue a relationship with him, and Mark told me that he doesn't want me to meet his friends and family because he wants to get to know me on his own so that IF they don't like me, he can have the resolve to tell them to fuck off.

I've decided that perhaps Mark and I are getting too serious... Especially because I like 374 miles away! By the way, any advice on long distance dating? *sigh...*

DCG apparently missed me bunches. He had a nightmare while I was gone about something chasing him and him trying to get help via cell phone but his phone was broken. If this were my dream, I would interpret it as his anxieties over me staying with Mark. I'm not sure how he interprets it.

Also, someone go tell DCG he needs to date other women. I don't think I put out enough for him.

Anyway, last few tibits:

I'm speaking to a man who put an ad on Craig's List looking for slaves. I tried to be a submissive, once, but I think I'm too smart for most doms. We're supposedly having drinks later in the week, so be on the lookout for that post!

I signed up with AFF's affiliate program. So click this and sign up for a free account. AFF is really how I get most of my dates (if you don't believe me, look back at previous posts). I think it's a great thing, especially for women. I get lots of messages every day and basically have my pick of who gets a first date or not. And it's not just a personals site - they have a section where members post questions for other members. Men ask silly things all the time like where to find the g-spot, but there are some interesting questions, too, like couples who are attempting to swing but don't know how to approach other couples, etc. And if you like dirty stories, members write oodles of them which are rated by other members for quality. So there's all kinds of good stuff there. I've been a member since I was 18. I'd say I visit (whether to check messages, answer questions, or get all hot and bothered by dirty stories) an average of twice a day. So yeah, sign up :)

Catch and Release Dating

DD is so hot!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

30 First Dates + DCG + Dating Dummy

DCG and I just got back from a fabulous vacation in beautiful San Diego. We drove out Friday, went to see some of his friends, then Saturday we went to the San Diego zoo, then met up with Dating Dummy. DD met us on Pacific Beach, and tried to teach me how to surf! :) DD is really hot, ladies. He seemed much more interested in this little surfer girl than he was in me, however. We went and got some fresh and fabulous sushi at Ichi Ban on Garet and H street. We paid 15 bucks for the three of us to eat, and it was incredibly wonderfully fresh and delicious. I hadn't had sushi since before I moved to Tucson! DD told us about a great little venue with live music, so we went back to the hotel and changed and relaxed for a few hours. Saturday evening, we met DD at Lestat's Coffehouse (no shit!) and saw MANUOK and Anya Marina. MANUOK was absolutely fabulous. I so incredibly wish I had just paid the ten bucks for their CD, but maybe DD bought it and will rip it for me. (Please!?)

We had some interesting talks. DD told us about "catch and release dating." Then Anya told us about healing broken hearts. She said that, just like when you break your leg, it's important to make sure that broken hearts heal correctly. If you don't get the bone set, your leg will have phantom pains for years afterwards. If you don't set your boken heart...

Anyway, it was a fabulous trip. I'm so sunburned!!! I kinda feel bad because I ran out of the show at Lestat's without saying goodbye to DD. Sorry!

Cross-blogging: DCG, DD. Check out what they said because they actually hunted down a bunch of links to things like Lestat's.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Date number 7 is actually DCG when he came to visit me in Vegas. I have it written in a notebook somewhere that is in a box. So I'll be post-posting it shortly.

Date #9: Mark

This is Tucson Mark, not Vegas Mark!

He is such a weird dude!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. First of all, on the phone while arranging our date he told me an anecdote about how he got into a fight over a parking space at the grocery store and got a cut over his eye. He told me that he probably broke a couple of the other guy's ribs, but the guy knocked out one of his teeth, so it was OK. WTF???

We went to the Chicago Bar and there was a very loud band. If this weren't a first date, I would have dug it. I've noticed that bars are populated with a much older crowd than the one you find in Vegas. They have a pool table there. It's small, but great.

Mark, however, is not great. He is the strangest looking man I've ever seen. He has a huge hook nose and incredibly long hair that is dyed black which he was wearing in a strange samurai-style ponytail. And did I mention that he's like 90 years old? Actually, he's probably between 50 and 60. I don't know how I missed this small detail.

He hardly talked to me. But then when he did talk, he told me about how he makes a living as a male dancer. No joke. He actually handed me a business card. I don't know how he's not on the street living off of Taco Bell sauce packets (the ones with the cute sayings like "When I grow up, I want to be a waterbed!").

He was wearing this godawful outfit of really tight black jeans and a white shirt unbuttoned to the waist. He had so much chest hair I thought it was an undershirt of some sort at first!

It was wretched. I thought that I would just sit and try to talk to him and learn all that I could and move on, but he would hardly talk and he was just... strange. Very strange.

Then some very very very drunk man came to our table and tried to talk to us. "I fix planes, man... Planes... I make 'em fly... In the sky, man... It's like, trippy, man... I make 'em fly... I don't want to scare you guys, but it's stressful, man... Workin' on planes... It's stressful... You don't got time for yourself or nobody else... It's stressful... But I make 'em fly, man..." And so forth. For like 20 minutes before I said I had to go.

And now I'm sitting watching Talk Sex with Sue Johanson with DCG. Meh.

Mark's First Date Rating: 1 out of 10. He is such a fucking weirdo!!!!!!

How We Met: He sent me a message on AFF.

The Chicago Bar First Date Rating: 7 out of 10. That's 7 if there isn't a band. 4 out of 10 if there is a band.


So, I'm in Tucson staying with DCG.

DCG has a friend, whom he calls High Maintenance Girl, or HMG. It didn't really bother me until I met her last night. She was completely standoffish and cold towards me, she wouldn't even look me in the eyes.

HMG calls DCG every day and leaves him long voicemail and they talk on the phone for long periods of time. DCG is nice about it, and when we're together and she calls, he always asks "Should I answer it?" But what am I supposed to say? "No, don't answer it. I hate that bitch! She's mean to you and wastes your time and is a completely self-centered loser?" I don't think that would go over well.

I'm not jealous of her, but maybe I should be. He spends sooooo much time talking to her. She's young and attractive. What do you think?

The sad part is, I was hoping that she would be a friend to me. I'm in a new city, I don't know anyone, I'm starting to grow homesick, and she's only a few years older than I am. I was hoping that we would get along.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Here's that dream about Darren

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Date #8: Alan

Tonight I met Alan from AFF at the French Quarter in Tucson. It was great fun!

The French Quarter had a fantastic band playing, a rhythm guitar and a hot woman playing the flute. It was wonderful. They played bluesy, jazzy stuff. And Alan wasn't boring. He was kind of interesting, actually. He asked me lots of questions, LISTENED to my answers, told me that I was intriguing and confident.

Anyway, he's 41, divorced, has two kids, twins, 9 years old, blah blah. He was OK.

How we met: He responded to me on AFF.

Alan's first date rating: 6. He's kinda boring. But he's open-minded and all of this is fresh to him. I enjoy that.

The French Quarter's first date rating: 9. I love it! It's dark, loud, fun. The bartenders are young and cute... It's great :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


Wow. So... Apparently all of DCG's readers are rather unhappy that I decided to just up and move to Tucson.

What do you guys think? Will someone leap to my defense (please)?

To stand up for myself, I'd just like to say that yes, moving to Tucson to live with someone I've met only recently is a little crazy. But I've always been a little crazy. And what have I got to lose? School is online, I can trade my crap job in the mall in Vegas for a crap job in the mall in Tucson or live off of my savings for a while, and all the while have wild and fun adventures.

I'm young! I want to live! I want to see everything and explore and have oodles of good times and learn the Tucsonian colloquialisms!

And... I'm running. Everyone knows I'm running. From failed relationships, ghosts of people I have loved and lost, ex-friends, ex-cliques, and all the things I've gotten tired of - the Vegas poetry scene, art scene, magical scene, et. al. I've grown sick of it. Why not try out the community here in Tucson?

Anyway, I am crazy, but I am not psychotic. I am a liar, but I haven't lied to DCG about my reasons for coming to Tucson. I may be desperate to find the proverbial "one" and get married and have babies, blah blah blah, but I didn't move here because I am desperate.

So fuck you guys. Just because you don't have the balls to pack up your life and move to another state doesn't mean that I can't.


Finally in Tucson!!!

Alright, since the last time I posted (about two weeks ago), I've picked up my entire life, driven 403 miles, and arrived in Tucson. I actually got here about three hours ago and DCG just finished getting my laptop wireless and on the network.


Tomorrow: explore Tucson, find the art district, find the gay district, find a good bar, and respond to all of the luuuuv email I've been recieving.

If you're in Tucson, leave a comment! I need to be shown the seedy and dark and wild side of Tucson.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

*Good Sex

I'm having good sex. Like... Excellent sex. I thought this was important enough to share. I don't know how much of this I can get away with on Blogger, so I'll just say that Mark's paid a little attention to my body and found some errogenous zones that aren't the obvious ones. Now he spends an hour or more getting me so insanely riled that every muscle in my body gets tense and shudders. He just... paid attention to me. And the best part? Teasing me and playing with me gets him so excited...

Well, that's all for you, guys. Tucson in 11 days!

Friday, June 10, 2005

* = Post Posted

I don't have internet at my new apartment and I'm not going to bother with it since I'm moving to Tucson at the end of the month. I've been keeping posts in a notebook and today I typed up a bunch of them and posted them. They are posted under their appropriate dates, so I *ed them so you can tell them apart.

Go read them!

Monday, June 06, 2005

30 First Dates is moving to Tucson!

I'm moving to Tucson :) If you're in Vegas and wanna be one of the lucky 30, leave a comment quick! If you're in Tucson, wait until I get there!

The move will be happening the last week of this month.

Wish me luck! If you have any dating advice from Tucson, let me know!

Friday, June 03, 2005

*Searching for Darren

I didn't blog about it, but I had a fabulous dream in which I met the love of my life. His name is Darren. My roommated managed to convince me that the dream was a byproduct of being bombarded with advertisements for Bewitched, and so, reluctantly, I dismissed it.

When I checked my AFF messages (which usually suck) on Wednesday, I found a message from Darren. He even looked remarkably like the Darren in my dream, only a little taller than I would have guessed. So I sent him my phone number. And he called.

Darren is a jackass. I asked him if he went to college. He said yes, for two years, but he dropped out. I asked him what his major was and he replied, no joke, "Drinkin'!"

Can the proverbial and literal man of my dreams be a moron? I think not.

But I trust my subconscious - it's smarter than I am. So I asked if he'd like to get drinks Thursday. He said sure. I said I'd call him after work.

I called, left a message, and didn't hear back from him.

Again, can the man of my dreams stand me up on our first date? I think not. This Darren just cannot be the Darren from my dreams.

And so, I'm putting out a call for the real Darren! He should be between 5'10 and 6', of average weight but strong, with a perpetual 5 o'clock shadow, brown eyes, and brown hair that's kind of shaggy with blonde highlights. If you know Darren, or better yet, if you ARE Darren, leave a comment!