*Date #7: The DCG Experience
This was actually written on 6/13 but I thought that my avid readers would appreciate me posting it here.Ok, so we all know that DCG ruined his chances at giving me the "Don't Care Guy Experience." When you stalk her blog, write her love email, and talk to her on the phone for 3 hours a day, she's going to know you give a shit about her. But I did have a pleasant experience :)
DCG called me on his way into Vegas. I had been taking a lovely bath in preparation for his arrival, but pulled myself out, dressed, did hair, makeup, high heels, and bells, and went to his hotel. I called when I got there, he said he was already in his room and would come down and meet me. I wasn't my usual CCC self (cool, calm, and collected) - I was nervous and scared. An attraction online, or on the phone, or even an attraction to someone's intellect does not a relationship make. What would I feel when I saw him??? Would I be so repulsed I'd turn around and run back to my car, and back to Mark and Vegas forever? Or would I swoon with the overwhelming power of my blooming affections for him and fall into his arms? Or... which may be the best... would I be so overwhelmingly attracted to him my knees would buckle with the rush of other parts of me blossoming?
What actually happened was none of these things. DCG turned, saw me, smiled, and tried to hug me, which of course I balked at, and the first words out of my mouth were "We need a drink." We hurried to the bar and there I ordered a greyhound on a whim (it's my father's drink - paging Dr. Frued!) and made small talk about the drive, none of which I remember.
Let me stop here a moment. DCG, this is for you: I am going to be utterly honest in the next few paragraphs. you may choose to stop reading here. In fact, I recommend it.
You see, dear readers, DCG is in his early 40's and I am 22. I've dated older men, most mid 30's, and one of my professors, who was in his mid 50's. But all that I could think about, sitting there in those first moments, was how old DCG looked.
Is that cruel of me?
I suppose it was startling because whenever we had interacted, it was as peers, and the issue of age had hardly come up (when it did, I brushed it aside as useless banter). I have always had a healthy respect for those older than me. I've always deffered to age, whether it was right to or not (I don't know). Here sat DCG, who I had played the power struggle game with, the game I always play, and suddenly, startlingly, I was faced with the realization that he had the advantage of 20 years over me. Not to mention - what did the bartender think?
It was tense, I was nervous perhaps all of that first day. DCG was always touching me, so dreamy-eyed for me, I was repelled. Me??? Touchy-feely in public??? In dark bars with men I'll never see again, what does it matter if they grope me with drunken lust in their eyes? But in the mall, with someone whom I may or may not be developing rather serious feelings for, when it is done with affection and longing... it means something very different. Something frightening and powerful.
I shied away, I balked, I hedged.
I couldn't sleep that night, in bed beside him in the hotel. He wanted sex. But it wasn't that he wanted sex, I could have given him that. He wanted to make love, something I haven't done in years and am not prepared to do. Not with someone I've known for so short a time and seen for less than 24 hours.
We slept in. We went to breakfast. I went home and took a bath, redid my hair and makeup, dressed, and went back to the hotel. Things were easier, then. We talked.
We went to dinner, then I took him to a sacred place of mine. I think he tried too hard to feel it, to make me think he had felt it. We went back to the hotel. I went home and slept in my own bed.
I drove my roommate to work at 5 am today, then went to the hotel. I had a key, so I entered and woke him up. We talked, laid in bed together. He didn't stop touching me. Then I fell asleep and woke up in time to gather my things and leave. He walked me out. As I drove away, he stared at me with longing.
He looks at me like a starving man, one who will die without my touch. He thinks he's in love with me. Maybe he is. Maybe I've grown cold after "marathon dating" and unpleasant experiences and not knowing what the hell I want. I just can't give in so fast.
How we met: here and on his blog.
DCG's first date rating: 9.5 I'm moving to Tucson to stay with him. We'll see how things develop. I adore him. I feel now that this entry has been harsh, but again that's me being weary. We have so much in common, we talk easily and have such fun. We're good for each other.
posted by Samantha @ 2:02 AM
63 Comments:
Daddies can be fun...for awhile, and then they get to be just what they are...O-L-D.
Anon, that is a pretty mean thing to say. Passing judgement without knowing a person. *sigh* what a world we live in, Girl all the best in your relationship with your man (DCG).
He may be O-L-D, but he's almost the most caring man I have ever met... Not to mention the B-E-S-T L-O-V-E-R I H-A-V-E E-V-E-R H-A-D.
:)
Cheers,
S.
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