Date #9: Mark
This is Tucson Mark, not Vegas Mark!He is such a weird dude!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. First of all, on the phone while arranging our date he told me an anecdote about how he got into a fight over a parking space at the grocery store and got a cut over his eye. He told me that he probably broke a couple of the other guy's ribs, but the guy knocked out one of his teeth, so it was OK. WTF???
We went to the Chicago Bar and there was a very loud band. If this weren't a first date, I would have dug it. I've noticed that bars are populated with a much older crowd than the one you find in Vegas. They have a pool table there. It's small, but great.
Mark, however, is not great. He is the strangest looking man I've ever seen. He has a huge hook nose and incredibly long hair that is dyed black which he was wearing in a strange samurai-style ponytail. And did I mention that he's like 90 years old? Actually, he's probably between 50 and 60. I don't know how I missed this small detail.
He hardly talked to me. But then when he did talk, he told me about how he makes a living as a male dancer. No joke. He actually handed me a business card. I don't know how he's not on the street living off of Taco Bell sauce packets (the ones with the cute sayings like "When I grow up, I want to be a waterbed!").
He was wearing this godawful outfit of really tight black jeans and a white shirt unbuttoned to the waist. He had so much chest hair I thought it was an undershirt of some sort at first!
It was wretched. I thought that I would just sit and try to talk to him and learn all that I could and move on, but he would hardly talk and he was just... strange. Very strange.
Then some very very very drunk man came to our table and tried to talk to us. "I fix planes, man... Planes... I make 'em fly... In the sky, man... It's like, trippy, man... I make 'em fly... I don't want to scare you guys, but it's stressful, man... Workin' on planes... It's stressful... You don't got time for yourself or nobody else... It's stressful... But I make 'em fly, man..." And so forth. For like 20 minutes before I said I had to go.
And now I'm sitting watching Talk Sex with Sue Johanson with DCG. Meh.
Mark's First Date Rating: 1 out of 10. He is such a fucking weirdo!!!!!!
How We Met: He sent me a message on AFF.
The Chicago Bar First Date Rating: 7 out of 10. That's 7 if there isn't a band. 4 out of 10 if there is a band.
posted by Samantha @ 11:24 PM
32 Comments:
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