30 First Dates

Profile for rage***

2005-08-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

Names *ed to protect the guilty!

I was browsing and checking messages on AFF and found a profile I had to share:

Ok really, why does anyone look on these websites. Are they for real. Do most look here because they have no time to get out, Or are they just Really looking for fun. Me I am looking For fun LOL. I get out alot but most of the time its with the guys at the regular bar hang out. Unless you want to take a drunk lady home Forget about it. I love the lake, I have a 21 ft boat, and i try to get on the lake as much as possible in the summertime. I love camping. I Hunt yes DEER. Love time in the outdoors anywhere. Love sports and love to go to ***** once a year and bet on a few Football Games. Dislikes Really gotta piss me off, I am a pain in the ass but in a good JOKING around kinda way. I am married and i am 29. Love my wife but Would like a discreet relationship with NOSTRINGS.

Dating an Older Man

2005-07-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

So I've been living with DCG since 6/28. I went home for a week, but it's been almost a month since I moved in.

DCG is in his early 40's. I'm 22. I'm looking for advice on dating older men.

DCG tells me he has this horrible fear of waitresses saying something like "Oh, you and your lovely daughter..." but that hasn't happened, and I don't know if it will. Honestly, the stares from other people haven't been as prevalent as I thought they would, and I don't think they're as prevalent as DCG thinks they are. He seems much more bothered by this than I am.

The other day we went to dinner and the waitress was talking with us. I thought she was flirting with me (I wrote my phone number on a napkin for her--she hasn't called... yet), but DCG was convinced she was "playing the 'Guess This Couple's Relationship' game." I never know what to say when he says things like this except silly comments like "Don't be ridiculous"... because... he's not being ridiculous.

What am I supposed to say to allay his fears? And what do I say or do should (gods forbid) the waitress/check-out lady/bartender/whoever actually says something like "You and your daughter..."?

Our age difference doesn't bother me, like I thought it might. I don't want it to bother him, either. Sometimes, I know it does. I was telling him some story and he made a reference to the Roman conquest of Gaul (yes, I obsessively looked it up so that next time I'll know what the hell he's talking about!) that was completely over my head. He gave me this look like I'm 12 and don't know shit about shit and what the hell's he doing talking to me, anyway? Those moments, luckily, are fairly rare. I'm incredibly well-read, in the process of becoming formally educated, always self-educating, and, at the risk of sounding unforgivably arrogant, smarter than everyone else. I can keep up... usually.

There was only one time when our age difference did bother me. That was when I went to meet his family for lunch and I heard his niece (who is older than I am) call him "Uncle -----." I don't know why, but it startled me and shook me up a bit. I recovered quickly, and have threatened to call DCG "Uncle -----," much to his chagrin.

The area where I thought our age difference would be most prominent has turned out to be such a wonderful surprise. We're at it at least twice a day, and he's very attentive to what I like and don't like, what drives me crazy, how to get me to make my "O" face. I think that he gets tired fairly quickly, and once he's done, he's done for at least an hour. But he makes me feel so incredible... I can't even describe it.

Anyway, now that I'm all hot and bothered I'm going to wrap this up and go... uhm... take a shower. Yeah... But I know that I'm not the only young woman who's dating an older man. Ladies, help! What do I do? What should I know about? What should I be prepared for?

*Date #7: The DCG Experience

2005-07-21T02:02:00.000-07:00

This was actually written on 6/13 but I thought that my avid readers would appreciate me posting it here.

Ok, so we all know that DCG ruined his chances at giving me the "Don't Care Guy Experience." When you stalk her blog, write her love email, and talk to her on the phone for 3 hours a day, she's going to know you give a shit about her. But I did have a pleasant experience :)

DCG called me on his way into Vegas. I had been taking a lovely bath in preparation for his arrival, but pulled myself out, dressed, did hair, makeup, high heels, and bells, and went to his hotel. I called when I got there, he said he was already in his room and would come down and meet me. I wasn't my usual CCC self (cool, calm, and collected) - I was nervous and scared. An attraction online, or on the phone, or even an attraction to someone's intellect does not a relationship make. What would I feel when I saw him??? Would I be so repulsed I'd turn around and run back to my car, and back to Mark and Vegas forever? Or would I swoon with the overwhelming power of my blooming affections for him and fall into his arms? Or... which may be the best... would I be so overwhelmingly attracted to him my knees would buckle with the rush of other parts of me blossoming?

What actually happened was none of these things. DCG turned, saw me, smiled, and tried to hug me, which of course I balked at, and the first words out of my mouth were "We need a drink." We hurried to the bar and there I ordered a greyhound on a whim (it's my father's drink - paging Dr. Frued!) and made small talk about the drive, none of which I remember.

Let me stop here a moment. DCG, this is for you: I am going to be utterly honest in the next few paragraphs. you may choose to stop reading here. In fact, I recommend it.

You see, dear readers, DCG is in his early 40's and I am 22. I've dated older men, most mid 30's, and one of my professors, who was in his mid 50's. But all that I could think about, sitting there in those first moments, was how old DCG looked.

Is that cruel of me?

I suppose it was startling because whenever we had interacted, it was as peers, and the issue of age had hardly come up (when it did, I brushed it aside as useless banter). I have always had a healthy respect for those older than me. I've always deffered to age, whether it was right to or not (I don't know). Here sat DCG, who I had played the power struggle game with, the game I always play, and suddenly, startlingly, I was faced with the realization that he had the advantage of 20 years over me. Not to mention - what did the bartender think?

It was tense, I was nervous perhaps all of that first day. DCG was always touching me, so dreamy-eyed for me, I was repelled. Me??? Touchy-feely in public??? In dark bars with men I'll never see again, what does it matter if they grope me with drunken lust in their eyes? But in the mall, with someone whom I may or may not be developing rather serious feelings for, when it is done with affection and longing... it means something very different. Something frightening and powerful.

I shied away, I balked, I hedged.

I couldn't sleep that night, in bed beside him in the hotel. He wanted sex. But it wasn't that he wanted sex, I could have given him that. He wanted to make love, something I haven't done in years and am not prepared to do. Not with someone I've known for so short a time and seen for less than 24 hours.

We slept in. We went to breakfast. I went home and took a bath, redid my hair and makeup, dressed, and went back to the hotel. Things were easier, then. We talked.

We went to dinner, then I took him to a sacred place of mine. I think he tried too hard to feel it, to make me think he had felt it. We went back to the hotel. I went home and slept in my own bed.

I drove my roommate to work at 5 am today, then went to the hotel. I had a key, so I entered and woke him up. We talked, laid in bed together. He didn't stop touching me. Then I fell asleep and woke up in time to gather my things and leave. He walked me out. As I drove away, he stared at me with longing.

He looks at me like a starving man, one who will die without my touch. He thinks he's in love with me. Maybe he is. Maybe I've grown cold after "marathon dating" and unpleasant experiences and not knowing what the hell I want. I just can't give in so fast.

How we met: here and on his blog.

DCG's first date rating: 9.5 I'm moving to Tucson to stay with him. We'll see how things develop. I adore him. I feel now that this entry has been harsh, but again that's me being weary. We have so much in common, we talk easily and have such fun. We're good for each other.

Just too good not to share...

2005-07-21T01:46:00.000-07:00

Do men think this will work? Was this guy high? It gets creepier each time I read it. Names *ed to protect the guilty :)

Sender: youngstud*****
To: sammy********
Date: Jul 20, 2005 11:36 PM MDT

maybe, you'd like to meet sometime for my cock. what kinda good music do you enjoy? let me get my cock rock hard then cum in your mouth, i would lick your thighs and work my way to your hot spot, then proceed to work that clit and increase stimulationu as you admire my rock hard cock waiting to penetrate your soul, i will fuck your soul and then leave you to dry, i do not care about you as a person, you would strictly be a sex tool for me, i would treat you like shit, then leave you to dry. but you would enjoy my cute cock in your cunt, i look forward to hearing from you, great times, great times, for all, i love foreing ,movies with voice overs, they make me cry in ways i can't understand, my emotions break down into little imperfect pieces of a gigantic puzzle that will never be solved. my life, my life, is that of one, who has no faith, no belief, in a god, or a christ, i feel nothing, i am nothing, neither are you, don't fool yourself. you will rot with me and the rest until eternity, there is no heaven, there is no hell. i hope i made your night completely un imaginable. i will rock now.

Am I using the right bait?

2005-07-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

From Date.com:

Consider the type of guy you want… where does he spend his time? What are his hobbies? Get yourself into the places where your perfect guy might be and maybe you’ll meet him there. Think about it- if you’re not looking for a heavy drinker, don’t try to meet guys in a bar.

So... I've been meeting people on a sex site, at bars, and online. I guess if I don't want a guy who's just interested in my tits, is an alcoholic, and is obsessed with MMORPG's, I should start looking elsewhere. But where?

I'm looking for someone who likes to drink. I'm sick of meeting guys who don't drink. I like to drink and I want to drink, so I guess bars are OK.

I'm looking for someone who will play pool with me, so I could try the pool hall.

I'm looking for someone who is an artist or musician or poet or painter... So... Bookman's? The bar? The streetcorner? The unemployment office?

I'm looking for a magician. So... Uhm... Shit. Should I follow the sound of the drums? The trail of chicken entrails? The scent of Nag Champa?

Where do you go to meet people?

Trip to Vegas

2005-07-18T01:57:00.000-07:00

I got into Tucson about two hours ago from a five day trip back home to Vegas. Of course, I saw Mark.

Mark and I had a huge fight about him not letting me talk to his friends and family. He has one friend in particular, a girl he grew up with, whom he talks to all the time. I asked for her phone number. He refused to give it to me. And for some reason... I decided to push the issue. It seems completely unreasonable, now, but we ended up having a large argument. It was resolved when I told Mark that I want to meet his friends and family and talk to them because if they don't like me, there's no reason to pursue a relationship with him, and Mark told me that he doesn't want me to meet his friends and family because he wants to get to know me on his own so that IF they don't like me, he can have the resolve to tell them to fuck off.

I've decided that perhaps Mark and I are getting too serious... Especially because I like 374 miles away! By the way, any advice on long distance dating? *sigh...*

DCG apparently missed me bunches. He had a nightmare while I was gone about something chasing him and him trying to get help via cell phone but his phone was broken. If this were my dream, I would interpret it as his anxieties over me staying with Mark. I'm not sure how he interprets it.

Also, someone go tell DCG he needs to date other women. I don't think I put out enough for him.

Anyway, last few tibits:

I'm speaking to a man who put an ad on Craig's List looking for slaves. I tried to be a submissive, once, but I think I'm too smart for most doms. We're supposedly having drinks later in the week, so be on the lookout for that post!

I signed up with AFF's affiliate program. So click this and sign up for a free account. AFF is really how I get most of my dates (if you don't believe me, look back at previous posts). I think it's a great thing, especially for women. I get lots of messages every day and basically have my pick of who gets a first date or not. And it's not just a personals site - they have a section where members post questions for other members. Men ask silly things all the time like where to find the g-spot, but there are some interesting questions, too, like couples who are attempting to swing but don't know how to approach other couples, etc. And if you like dirty stories, members write oodles of them which are rated by other members for quality. So there's all kinds of good stuff there. I've been a member since I was 18. I'd say I visit (whether to check messages, answer questions, or get all hot and bothered by dirty stories) an average of twice a day. So yeah, sign up :)

Catch and Release Dating

2005-07-18T01:05:00.000-07:00

DD is so hot!

2005-07-18T01:02:00.000-07:00

30 First Dates + DCG + Dating Dummy

2005-07-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

DCG and I just got back from a fabulous vacation in beautiful San Diego. We drove out Friday, went to see some of his friends, then Saturday we went to the San Diego zoo, then met up with Dating Dummy. DD met us on Pacific Beach, and tried to teach me how to surf! :) DD is really hot, ladies. He seemed much more interested in this little surfer girl than he was in me, however. We went and got some fresh and fabulous sushi at Ichi Ban on Garet and H street. We paid 15 bucks for the three of us to eat, and it was incredibly wonderfully fresh and delicious. I hadn't had sushi since before I moved to Tucson! DD told us about a great little venue with live music, so we went back to the hotel and changed and relaxed for a few hours. Saturday evening, we met DD at Lestat's Coffehouse (no shit!) and saw MANUOK and Anya Marina. MANUOK was absolutely fabulous. I so incredibly wish I had just paid the ten bucks for their CD, but maybe DD bought it and will rip it for me. (Please!?)

We had some interesting talks. DD told us about "catch and release dating." Then Anya told us about healing broken hearts. She said that, just like when you break your leg, it's important to make sure that broken hearts heal correctly. If you don't get the bone set, your leg will have phantom pains for years afterwards. If you don't set your boken heart...

Anyway, it was a fabulous trip. I'm so sunburned!!! I kinda feel bad because I ran out of the show at Lestat's without saying goodbye to DD. Sorry!

Cross-blogging: DCG, DD. Check out what they said because they actually hunted down a bunch of links to things like Lestat's.

2005-07-03T23:56:00.000-07:00

Date number 7 is actually DCG when he came to visit me in Vegas. I have it written in a notebook somewhere that is in a box. So I'll be post-posting it shortly.

Date #9: Mark

2005-07-03T23:24:00.000-07:00

This is Tucson Mark, not Vegas Mark!

He is such a weird dude!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. First of all, on the phone while arranging our date he told me an anecdote about how he got into a fight over a parking space at the grocery store and got a cut over his eye. He told me that he probably broke a couple of the other guy's ribs, but the guy knocked out one of his teeth, so it was OK. WTF???

We went to the Chicago Bar and there was a very loud band. If this weren't a first date, I would have dug it. I've noticed that bars are populated with a much older crowd than the one you find in Vegas. They have a pool table there. It's small, but great.

Mark, however, is not great. He is the strangest looking man I've ever seen. He has a huge hook nose and incredibly long hair that is dyed black which he was wearing in a strange samurai-style ponytail. And did I mention that he's like 90 years old? Actually, he's probably between 50 and 60. I don't know how I missed this small detail.

He hardly talked to me. But then when he did talk, he told me about how he makes a living as a male dancer. No joke. He actually handed me a business card. I don't know how he's not on the street living off of Taco Bell sauce packets (the ones with the cute sayings like "When I grow up, I want to be a waterbed!").

He was wearing this godawful outfit of really tight black jeans and a white shirt unbuttoned to the waist. He had so much chest hair I thought it was an undershirt of some sort at first!

It was wretched. I thought that I would just sit and try to talk to him and learn all that I could and move on, but he would hardly talk and he was just... strange. Very strange.

Then some very very very drunk man came to our table and tried to talk to us. "I fix planes, man... Planes... I make 'em fly... In the sky, man... It's like, trippy, man... I make 'em fly... I don't want to scare you guys, but it's stressful, man... Workin' on planes... It's stressful... You don't got time for yourself or nobody else... It's stressful... But I make 'em fly, man..." And so forth. For like 20 minutes before I said I had to go.

And now I'm sitting watching Talk Sex with Sue Johanson with DCG. Meh.

Mark's First Date Rating: 1 out of 10. He is such a fucking weirdo!!!!!!

How We Met: He sent me a message on AFF.

The Chicago Bar First Date Rating: 7 out of 10. That's 7 if there isn't a band. 4 out of 10 if there is a band.

DCG

2005-07-03T01:17:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in Tucson staying with DCG.

DCG has a friend, whom he calls High Maintenance Girl, or HMG. It didn't really bother me until I met her last night. She was completely standoffish and cold towards me, she wouldn't even look me in the eyes.

HMG calls DCG every day and leaves him long voicemail and they talk on the phone for long periods of time. DCG is nice about it, and when we're together and she calls, he always asks "Should I answer it?" But what am I supposed to say? "No, don't answer it. I hate that bitch! She's mean to you and wastes your time and is a completely self-centered loser?" I don't think that would go over well.

I'm not jealous of her, but maybe I should be. He spends sooooo much time talking to her. She's young and attractive. What do you think?

The sad part is, I was hoping that she would be a friend to me. I'm in a new city, I don't know anyone, I'm starting to grow homesick, and she's only a few years older than I am. I was hoping that we would get along.

Here's that dream about Darren

2005-07-01T03:06:00.000-07:00

Date #8: Alan

2005-06-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight I met Alan from AFF at the French Quarter in Tucson. It was great fun!

The French Quarter had a fantastic band playing, a rhythm guitar and a hot woman playing the flute. It was wonderful. They played bluesy, jazzy stuff. And Alan wasn't boring. He was kind of interesting, actually. He asked me lots of questions, LISTENED to my answers, told me that I was intriguing and confident.

Anyway, he's 41, divorced, has two kids, twins, 9 years old, blah blah. He was OK.

How we met: He responded to me on AFF.

Alan's first date rating: 6. He's kinda boring. But he's open-minded and all of this is fresh to him. I enjoy that.

The French Quarter's first date rating: 9. I love it! It's dark, loud, fun. The bartenders are young and cute... It's great :)

Gossip

2005-06-28T01:22:00.000-07:00

Wow. So... Apparently all of DCG's readers are rather unhappy that I decided to just up and move to Tucson.

What do you guys think? Will someone leap to my defense (please)?

To stand up for myself, I'd just like to say that yes, moving to Tucson to live with someone I've met only recently is a little crazy. But I've always been a little crazy. And what have I got to lose? School is online, I can trade my crap job in the mall in Vegas for a crap job in the mall in Tucson or live off of my savings for a while, and all the while have wild and fun adventures.

I'm young! I want to live! I want to see everything and explore and have oodles of good times and learn the Tucsonian colloquialisms!

And... I'm running. Everyone knows I'm running. From failed relationships, ghosts of people I have loved and lost, ex-friends, ex-cliques, and all the things I've gotten tired of - the Vegas poetry scene, art scene, magical scene, et. al. I've grown sick of it. Why not try out the community here in Tucson?

Anyway, I am crazy, but I am not psychotic. I am a liar, but I haven't lied to DCG about my reasons for coming to Tucson. I may be desperate to find the proverbial "one" and get married and have babies, blah blah blah, but I didn't move here because I am desperate.

So fuck you guys. Just because you don't have the balls to pack up your life and move to another state doesn't mean that I can't.

Meh.

Finally in Tucson!!!

2005-06-28T01:13:00.000-07:00

Alright, since the last time I posted (about two weeks ago), I've picked up my entire life, driven 403 miles, and arrived in Tucson. I actually got here about three hours ago and DCG just finished getting my laptop wireless and on the network.

Huzzah!

Tomorrow: explore Tucson, find the art district, find the gay district, find a good bar, and respond to all of the luuuuv email I've been recieving.

If you're in Tucson, leave a comment! I need to be shown the seedy and dark and wild side of Tucson.

*Good Sex

2005-06-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm having good sex. Like... Excellent sex. I thought this was important enough to share. I don't know how much of this I can get away with on Blogger, so I'll just say that Mark's paid a little attention to my body and found some errogenous zones that aren't the obvious ones. Now he spends an hour or more getting me so insanely riled that every muscle in my body gets tense and shudders. He just... paid attention to me. And the best part? Teasing me and playing with me gets him so excited...

Well, that's all for you, guys. Tucson in 11 days!

* = Post Posted

2005-06-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

I don't have internet at my new apartment and I'm not going to bother with it since I'm moving to Tucson at the end of the month. I've been keeping posts in a notebook and today I typed up a bunch of them and posted them. They are posted under their appropriate dates, so I *ed them so you can tell them apart.

Go read them!

30 First Dates is moving to Tucson!

2005-06-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

I'm moving to Tucson :) If you're in Vegas and wanna be one of the lucky 30, leave a comment quick! If you're in Tucson, wait until I get there!

The move will be happening the last week of this month.

Wish me luck! If you have any dating advice from Tucson, let me know!

*Searching for Darren

2005-06-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

I didn't blog about it, but I had a fabulous dream in which I met the love of my life. His name is Darren. My roommated managed to convince me that the dream was a byproduct of being bombarded with advertisements for Bewitched, and so, reluctantly, I dismissed it.

When I checked my AFF messages (which usually suck) on Wednesday, I found a message from Darren. He even looked remarkably like the Darren in my dream, only a little taller than I would have guessed. So I sent him my phone number. And he called.

Darren is a jackass. I asked him if he went to college. He said yes, for two years, but he dropped out. I asked him what his major was and he replied, no joke, "Drinkin'!"

Can the proverbial and literal man of my dreams be a moron? I think not.

But I trust my subconscious - it's smarter than I am. So I asked if he'd like to get drinks Thursday. He said sure. I said I'd call him after work.

I called, left a message, and didn't hear back from him.

Again, can the man of my dreams stand me up on our first date? I think not. This Darren just cannot be the Darren from my dreams.

And so, I'm putting out a call for the real Darren! He should be between 5'10 and 6', of average weight but strong, with a perpetual 5 o'clock shadow, brown eyes, and brown hair that's kind of shaggy with blonde highlights. If you know Darren, or better yet, if you ARE Darren, leave a comment!

Mike's Shoes

2005-06-01T23:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been posting! I still don't have internet at the new apartment, but don't worry, you aren't missing out on anything. I'm keeping track of all the dates, etc, on notebook paper and as soon as the cable modem is hooked up next week sometime I'll be posting all of the back-logged stuff. So come back :)

In the meantime, enjoy this picture of Mike's favourite shoes. Mike is going to be one of the lucky 30 simply because he wants to buy matching outfits, get drunk, and stumble around in high heels. He sent me this pic and some pics of his favourite dresses earlier this week. What fun!

*Tucson?

2005-05-31T14:08:00.000-07:00

So DCG wants me to move to Tucson. The scary part? I'm actually considering it. We spoke for hours on the phone.

I'm currently composing a list of demands :) So far:

Cable TV
WiFi
No bitching about my smoking, drink, staying up late, or sleeping in

What else?

*Jailbait!

2005-05-31T14:06:00.000-07:00

So a 15 year old girl was flirting with me at work today. My roommate asked me if I flirted back. I said "Hell no!" But he did make a good point - you don't go to jail for flirting.

Should I have flirted and had a little fun with her? She was the most "mature" 15 year old girl I've ever seen.

*DCG + 30FD = ???

2005-05-31T14:03:00.000-07:00

DCG is coming to Vegas! Not this weekend, but next. I'm terribly excited! We can cross-blog the experience... What fun! I wrote him a tanka, he wrote me a haiku... *sigh...* My heart soars.

*Dating News...

2005-05-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Brian stood me up Saturday! I'll call him later in the week and find out what happened.

In other dating news...

DCG and I have been writing love email to each other. *sigh...* Could I be falling in love???

I'm talking to a cross-dresser from out of state who is coming to Vegas later this month. He wants to get drunk with me and stumble around in high heels. He also wants to buy matching outfits. He's 57. Overall, the cross-dressing thign doesn't really excite me, but it is incredibly interesting. I've got to do it just so I can put that on my list of ten things I've done that you haven't.

A TS/TV/TG individual "winked" at me on AFF. I haven't had the courage to read his/her profile, yet. I put on my profile that I was interested in meeting such a person because, quite frankly, that does excite me. Will I have the courage to write to him/her? Should I? What do y'all think?

And finally, the ex that I broke up with in February finally dropped off my stuff... Indluding my glow in the dark battery operated device. So I've been having a lot of fun. I don't know what it is, but a little goes a long way. I've been so frisky, I feel sorry for Mark! But we did make good use of the sofa, the bar stool, the bed, and the kitchen table...

*Date #6: Brian

2005-05-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

Brian is married, in his 30's, and claims to be socially inept, though I had a great time. He made me pick the place, so we went to Screwballs, where I drank Newcastle and he told me punny jokes. I love puns, but for the life of me I can't remember any of the jokes he told me.

We talked at length about the whole him being married thing. On his profile at Adult Friend Finder, he said that he was in an "open" relationship. He told me that very recently, his wife met a woman and decided she wanted to try out the being with a woman thing. So they struck a deal and set up some rules sot hey can both go out and try new things. He has a daughter, and when I asked him about this, he said that they both agreed to keep it away from the house. But the most interesting thing he told me was that this decision to be open has really brought them together, after 8 years of marriage, they didn't talk anymore, but now they talk all night and share their experiences. He said that they go online and talk to other couples who are in the same situation and get advice.

This is fascinating to me. If I am every in an "open" marriage, I hope to do it as well as Brian and his wife.

And I'm very attracted to him. He's my type - kinda husky, facial hair, long hair, earrings, tall. And he seems very attracted to me. Although, who can blame him? ;)

He also has this slightly effeminate or maybe more androgynous thing going on. He told me about a dream he had wherein a hot woman bartender he's been after was in his bedroom with him, but when she took off her pants, she had a penis. She asked him "Do you see something you don't like?" and he replied "No, I'm just surprised. Put it in my hand." As she put it in his hand, he awoke to find the remote or some such in his hand. Now, it takes one of three things for a man to reveal a dream like this on a first date: 1- some real cojones, 2- a comfort with one's sexuality commonly found only in Tantric masters, or 3- a severe social inaptitude. Whis one is he?

Well, I hope to find out. We set up a date for Saturday.

Wish me luck!

Brian's first date rating: 7. He's fascinating and tells great campy jokes with puns in them, but he's married. No long term potential. However, if his wife is into women...

How we met: Adult Friend Finder. He messaged me.

Dating Blogs

2005-05-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

I've added a new section to the right for links to other people's dating blogs. Want in? Leave a comment.

For a taste of dating from the male perspective, check out:

Singular Man's How to Hurt a Man's Self-Esteem Without Mentioning His Penis

or

Don't Care Guy's idea of why women want to date a guy who doesn't give a shit

Date #5: Tony

2005-05-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

Tony is in his mid-twenties. He's an ex-FDNY fire fighter. Apparently he was at the towers on 9/11. The story is that he quit and moved to Vegas to become a plumber because the money is better. Anyone know how much the FDNY make? It's gotta be more than a Vegas plumber, right?

So he wants to pick me up. I never let someone I don't know come and pick me up. That's just stupid. But I like him alot and I give in and say OK. He comes to the apartment. I go out and meet him. He's driving a cool car, he's cute, he's laid back, we're smiling and joking, and things seem to be going well.

We get to the bar, and it turns out he's not really a drinker. I order a beer and a shot. He glares at me and orders a grey goose and cranberry with a spritz of lime. He nurses his drink for more than an hour, so I sit there without a drink waiting for him to finish before I finally just give up and order an adios. In the meantime, he's telling me his whole life story. It's too boring to even partially recount here. From the way he's chatting on and on, totally self-absorbed, I can tell that he's really insecure about something.

Time passes. I'm bored. He hasn't touched me once, he hasn't reacted when I've put my hand on my arm, and he's still on his first drink. So I mention something about having to go home, he says that we need to make plans for tomorrow, then he asks me what kind of porn I'm into. He then starts on a long description of the things he likes, including (but not limited to): midgets, horses, fisting, BDSM, and sort of humiliation, rape, and the Gag Factor tapes. I have to admit, at this point I was intrigued and agreed to see him tomorrow.

Then... he took me home. We stopped outside the apartment, I said I'd see him tomorrow, we kissed, then he actually, I shit you not, said "I have something to show you," undid his zipper, and whipped it out. Granted, it was very nice - big, shapely, hard, shaven - but who the hell whips it out like that on a first date with a girl who's hardly spoken three complete sentences all evening because you couldn't shut your yap? I tried to make some polite comment about how nice it was and that I'd call him tomorrow and leave, but he grabbed my head...

Now, don't worry about me. I was quick to action and escaped unscathed. But it was fucking scary.

Best advice ever: NEVER EVER EVER LET ANYONE PICK YOU UP AT HOME ON A FIRST DATE!

How we met: He messaged me on Adult Friend Finder. I gave him my phone number. I dug his accent.

Tony's First Date Rating: 2/10. I don't see how it could have been much worse. Maybe if my hair caught on fire, or if one of my ex-boyfriends came in and started a fight with him... Actually, that would have been kind of hot... At least hotter than "I have something to show you"

Home Plate's First Date Rating: 3/10. Service sucked. Too much light. Stupid rave kids hogging the pool table. And there's a restaurant section where families are actually eating, so it discourages the raunchy, sinful, intimate air I like to keep about first dates. It's off of Blue Diamond Road.

Thing that sucked the most: He didn't tell me any jokes! But I did hear a good one right before the semester let out:

What does a penis and school have in common?

When it gets hard, fuck it.

Updates, Etc.

2005-05-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

No! I haven't given up on the quest. The last few weeks of the semester have been really nerve-wracking. I'm planning on getting back on the horse shortly.

Anyway, I think Mark is getting sick of me. And I think I hurt his feelings last night. He and I were at Pink E's playing pool with some of my friends in honour of my birthday (which was yesterday - hurray for 22 y/o me!), and he had to take off to go get some sleep because he had to get up at 4 am to go to work. I didn't go home with him, which was my original plan. I went to a friend's house and continued to party. I think that upset him, because he didn't call me today until about an hour ago, and he called to tell me he can't see me tomorrow.

My heart is broken, but I really should get on with it. I'm falling far behind schedule!

Seriously, if you wanna be one of the lucky 30, leave a comment. I'm a fun date! :)

The Joys of Online Dating

2005-04-29T14:39:00.000-07:00

Names have been *****ed to protect the guilty ;)

From: bigblkdik**
Date: Apr 29, 2005 1:16 PM PDT
Subject: Hung and Handsome Blk Male
Hello,
I'm sexy blk male who luvs to have fun. I'm 6'4 240 athletic built, and well hung. I luv every aspect of sex. I'm into anything fun and safe. I luv the taste of a woman's body. I'm disease and drug free. I will be in Las Vegas area on June 1 to June 7. I'm looking to have a wild and exciting time in Sincity. If u are interested, email me with your contact info.

From: jdbass****3
Date: Apr 29, 2005 9:20 AM PDT
Subject: Hi
So my buddies and I are going to be in Las Vegas the weekend of May 13-15. We're looking for some ladies that would want to party with us. You look like someone that is totally down to have a good time. Write back if this is something you're interested in. Talk to you later

From: adamz****
Date: Apr 29, 2005 4:28 AM PDT
Subject: HEY SEXY
SAY YUR PRFILE AND THOUGHT ID SEND YOU A MESSAGE.HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON THANKS ADAM.

From: rsten****
Date: Apr 29, 2005 12:12 AM PDT
Subject: Hello Sexy!
Finally someone who is down to earth and keeping it real in their profile! I'd like to hear from you for, if nothing else, some actually stimulating conversation! There are some REAL airheads on here. If you are interested, you can contact me at *****. No strings attached; what have you got to lose?
((I replied to that one))

From: wcinlv**
Date: Apr 28, 2005 11:40 PM PDT
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Hello!
Sorry for the attitude, but to be honest, I've been turned down more than a bed at the DelMar...
I've known a number of dancers in this town, and many can't carry on an intelligent conversation. People such as yourself as described in your profile are rare indeed. After all, the mind is the most powerful organ. That attracted me, along with the fact that you're looking for a larger fellow. (I like the "snuggle" description. After all, anyone can look great in a picture. All you have to have is Photoshop. You can't fake intelligence. Unless you're the CIA....
Well, hare's a start. Care to chat some more?
> ---------------------------------------------------
> Sender: sammylasvegas
> To: wcinlv**
> Date: Apr 28, 2005 114 pm PST
> > "Oh well, never mind then"? This is the part where you are supposed to use your wit and charm to woo me. But oh well, never mind then.
> > > ---------------------------------------------------
> > Sender: wcinlv**
> > To: sammylasvegas
> > Date: Apr 27, 2005 11:24 pm PST
> > > > Hell, I dunno. I guess it's cause I have a thing for dancers. My last steady girlfriend was a dancer at a local club. Oh well, never mind then.
> > > > > ---------------------------------------------------
> > > Sender: sammylasvegas
> > > To: wcinlv**
> > > Date: Apr 27, 2005 9:23 pm PST
> > > > > > Wow. I'm replying because I am honestly stunned as to why you would choose to respond to me. I drink, chain smoke, frequently use illicit substances, party, and generally carouse. I'm into rough and kinky sex. And I'm less than half your age.
> > > Please enlighten me.
> > > -Sam
((I responded to him, as well.))

Mark and Dinner with Mom and Dad

2005-04-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

So I took Mark over to my parents' house for dinner. It was an experience. My mother had three glasses of wine, and she is really a lightweight, so she was all bubbly and babbly and happy. Dad, who never ever drinks, had two Coors Lights, so he was getting a little red-faced and happy as well. They started talking about when Mom was pregnant with me and they travelled all over Asia: Singapore, Hong Kong, Okinawa, Tokyo, etc, etc. I sat and listened to Dad's stories for two and a half hours. In a good way. I probably have an unhealthy amount of affection for my dad. I hardly paid any attention to Mark.

Am I getting sick of him? Perhaps.

Mark's Birthday

2005-04-25T12:33:00.000-07:00

Mark's birthday was Friday. I made him believe I would be out of town, and then told him I hired a hot asian chick named Suki to sex him up. He totally flipped out. But when I showed up and told him my name was Suki, he laughed. I gave him a full body massage, we had sex like four times, then his neighbours (who are really cool people - Mario, Darrio, and the Ashleys), surprised him with tequila. And they got me high with the bong. But Mark didn't have any. We were really, really, really drunk. I think Mark was up all night puking, though he wouldn't admit it in the morning.

Craziness!

Shane's Second Date

2005-04-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Shane is a very strange fellow. We went to the Mediterranean Cafe for dinner. We were making small talk about the weather and foreign foods and then he tells me that he has some suggestions for me. His suggestions were:

1. Turn off my goddamn cellphone.
2. Don't have a first date at a bar because it implies that I'm going home with the guy.
3. Be more personable and less business-like.

Actually, these are probably good suggestions, but I was surprised by his bluntness. Was this the same shy, quiet, guy from his first date?

So of course, dating in general was the topic of discussion. And he started talking about his previous relationship. He started referring to himself as a predator, and how he had built up the girl just to tear her down. He said that he knows where to find them, those girls to play the game with. They're hooked on meth or coke or something and hang out at sleezy bars and need to be dominated.

Of course, I'm not this. I'm a predator.

He's intimidated by me. I think he's just looking for someone whom he can use. He won't play the game with me.

I'm not going to call him. But maybe he'll call me. I think things could be interesting. A terribly exquisite mind fuck. I'll win. I always do.

Mark's ??? Date

2005-04-10T00:56:00.000-07:00

I've been seeing a lot of Mark. We listen to stupid old country songs together, watch movies, have good sex. Mom asked me the other day if I'm falling in love with him. I think maybe I'm just in love with love. Half the time when I'm with Mark, I'm certain we're going to get married and have a margarita machine at our wedding (like his parents did). The other half, I'm 80% convinced he wants me to just leave.

Anyway, sex is fun. It's new and it's fun. We tried those coloured, flavoured condoms. Tonight we tried the orange one and the bananna one. We had sex for an hour and a half. I actually almost got off.

The most annoying thing: Mark ALWAYS interrupts me. Jokes, stories, trains of thought - he jumps right in the middle and won't let me finish. Ugh!

Date #4: Shane

2005-04-10T00:48:00.000-07:00

Shane is 25. He's a carpenter doing piece-work with his dad and a bunch of other old carpenters. He owns a small house with a roommate. He has a great dane. He's short. A little pudgy, but pretty cute. He wears t-shirts and jeans and baseball caps. He has an accent, but I can't remember where he's from (in the US).

The reason why I can't remember is because we drank SO FUCKING MUCH. We drank so much that I woke up the next morning STILL DRUNK. He let me drive home after drinking two Newcastles, an Adios Motherfucker, and two chocolate martinis. I'm suprised I made it alive. That's probably the most drunk I've ever driven. I'm such a bad person, I'm going to Hell.

Shane hasn't been dating in a while. He's one of those people that you can tell has been alone his whole life - he's an only child from a broken home who was a loner at school. It was strange. Now, I don't remember exactly what we talked about very clearly because I was pretty shnockered, but from what I do remember the first half of the date was us talking about fucked up first dates and psycho ex's and how we're just looking around and not looking for anything serious. The second half was about him telling me how cool it would be if I didn't go on the rest of the 30 dates because I had met him, and how he doesn't have to be himself because someone should like him for who he is, not the image that he portrays to other people. It was strange.

The whole experience was pretty surreal. But I couldn't keep my hands off of him. And... in a dark and frightening way, I kind of liked it. It was like being close to someone who is close to the edge.

He told me this joke:

Three pieces of rope are walking through the desert. It's really fucking hot, and they're starting to get incredibly thirsty. All of the sudden, they come upon a bar. The first piece of string says that he'll go in and get them all drinks. He goes in and asks the bartender for three beers.
The bartender says, "Are you a piece of rope?"
The rope says, "Why, yes I am."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve rope at this bar."
The rope goes out to his friends and tells them that the bartender doesn't serve rope.
The second rope says, "I'll take care of this!" He puffs himself up and stands big and straight and tall and marches in and orders three beers.
The bartender says, "Are you a piece of rope?"
The rope says, "Why I most certainly am, and I demand a drink right now!"
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve rope at this bar."
The rope, defeated, goes back out to his buddies and tells them that the bartender doesn't serve rope.
Now the third piece of rope says, "I'll take care of this!" He slinks down, ties himself in a knot, then puffs and frays himself out at one end, slinks in, and orders three beers.
The bartender says, "Are you a piece of rope?"
The rope answers, "I'm a frayed knot!"

How we met: I selected him on Great Expectations, and he said yes.

Shane's First Date Rating: 5/10. I'm exactly on the fence on whether or not I want to see him again. There's the pothead thing, and this deep depression he may or may not be in, and he just seems fucked up. But I'm attracted to him, he's attracted to me, and we can drink together. I mean, really seriously drink.

Cactus Jack's First Date Rating: 6/10. I loved the place. It's dark, quiet, and the patrons select excellent songs out of the juke box. But the drinks are a little pricey and the bar-tender charged us for drinks even though we were gambling on the machine. If he hadn't charged us, this place would have been an 8.

Kinkiest thing I've ever heard: He shaved one of his x-girlfriend's heads and the process of shaving her head, then telling her which wigs to wear was an incredible turn-on for him.

Advice from John

2005-04-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

From : John
Sent : Saturday, April 9, 2005 8:26 PM
To : Sammy
Subject : RE: Happy Saturday

On marathon dating...and Mark. My observations in conversation with you is that, for the vast majority of men in my acquaintance, you present quite a set of intellectual...and probably emotional, not to mention spiritual, challenges. Challenges for which they are neither prepared to embrace...nor understand. You are extraordinarily well read and cosmopolitan. Most guys are neither. Interestingly also, at the end of this month, you will have actually dated more men than all the women they have dated put together. LOL. Keep it up my friend, I feel a publishable article in here somewhere. [aren't I venal]

Blessed be, John

My Unsung Hero - new lyrics

2005-04-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

It's cheesy. I know. But I wrote a song for Mark on the guitar. Here are the lyrics.

My Unsung Hero

2 AM
Things are quiet here
And he sleeps next to an empty bottle of beer

He's sits on his father's couch
Watches films in the dark
He always tips the waitresses well. He works very hard

And he's Odysseus.
He's Hamlet playing out his tragedy
Tequila chased by moonshine
While he tells me about his dreams
And I know that he's not what he seems
And the world will never know

My unsung hero

He's looking for adventure

A life filled with conflict

He's searching for defining moments, afraid that he'll find it

He never took

The old man on the mountain's advice

He hopes to play a series of bit parts in other people's lives

Because he's Odysseus

He's Hamlet playing out his tragedy

Tequila chased by moonshine

While he tells me about his dreams

And I know that he's not what he seems

And the world will never

Know that he's got to go
They'll never know
He knows how to fly
They'll never know
That he's passed them by
And the world will never know

My unsung hero

2 AM
Things are quiet, here
And he has never been in love

Mark's Fourth/Fifth Date

2005-04-03T21:52:00.000-07:00

I just had an amazing weekend. Mark picked me up around 8pm on Friday. We went to Sunset Station, ate some cheap Mexican food, saw Sin City (fucking AMAZING, btw), and went back to his place for drinking, talking, and ...*blush*... fun.

Mark made me get up very early Saturday to go to the DMV. His car is new and the temporary registration ran out Saturday. We went and got him new plates, then ate breakfast at Flapjack's on Sunset like a block east of where Mountain Vista becomes Sunset.

Then we went back to the house. And spent ALL DAY TOGETHER. I thought "He must be sick of me..." but he admitted that he was thinking the same thing. We watched Subspecies, a really cheesy vampire flick, then sat on the balcony and just... talked, enjoying the beautiful day. We started drinking pretty early and listened to music. We sang and howled and talked and all in between. We listened to Charlie Daniels, Johnny Horton, Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, etc. We drank Georgia Moonshine, tequila, and rum and coke. We were out on the balcony, and his neighbours started talking to us. We were all really drunk, and they were high as kites. Mark and I went up to thier apartment and I got a little high. Then we came downstairs... and it's all a little fuzzy.

I woke up this morning at 8:30 feeling dizzy. I had to be at work at 11. Mark took me home, where I realized Daylight Savings Time sucks ass, and changed my shirt, pulled my hair up and went to work. Shit day at work. Until Mark came to visit me. He brought me a bananna and talked to me for like an hour. Then when I got off work and came home, we talked on the phone for an hour or two.

Mark... is so fascinating to me. He's an unsung hero. He told me his secret dream is to know someone who is going to change the world. That's... so very interesting to me. And he sings in front of me! And he's clever and funny. He told me about a movie he's thinking about writing about four guys in a small town. He went on to talk about their mundane tragedies and shitty lives. I asked him what the conflict was. He said their own lives are the conflict. That's fascinating.

I adore him.

Sin City: Go see it. Seriously. Just do it.

A Dating Pointer from Date.com

2005-04-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

DID YOU KNOW?

You'll never drunk-dial an ex at night again if your cell provider offers a new feature that keeps you from calling specific numbers until 6 a.m., when you're presumably sober.

- Cosmopolitan, March 2005

Does anyone know anything about this? Lol, I could use it!

Mark's Third Date

2005-04-01T11:57:00.000-08:00

Wow. I've gotten mixed reviews about Mark, but I think I'm in love.

Last night we ate dinner at the Crown and Anchor. It's a great little college bar that serves British food on Trop and Maryland. Some girl spilled beer all over Mark, I made an origami frog, he ate fish and chips without any malt vinegar (wtf?), I ate chicken curry on french fries. We talked and talked and talked and talked.

We went to Lee's Discount Liquor and found this god-awful corn whiskey. It looks and smells like rubbing alcohol. The label actually, honest to god, says "Less than 30 days old!" on it. Of course we had to buy it. We also got some silver tequila. I hate tequila! But when we got back to his place, I did do a shot to make him happy. And I owed it to him, as he did a shot with me of that corn whiskey stuff. That was amazingly bad. The toast Mark made was "May it not be as bad as we think it will be!" It was worse. But so amazingly cool.

And then... fun ensued.

In the car, I told him that he's not my type. And he isn't! He's a frat boy. But he's so frickin' fascinating to me... He asked me what was so fascinating about him. I told him that I can't figure him out. It broke my heart later in bed when we were cuddling, when he said "You're going to figure me out and leave me!"

And... In all honesty... That's probably what's going to happen.

But for now, I'm in love :) If my life were a comic book, little hearts would be floating around my head.

Mark and I are getting together again tonight. We plan on playing an evil April Fool's Day joke on our mothers. But more on that, later.

Anyway, don't worry. I'm still going through with my other... *groan*... 27 first dates. I have date #4 planned for Sunday. Should be great fun :)

George's Second Date

2005-03-31T17:18:00.000-08:00

Well, it wasn't really a date. He called and I was on my way home and he lives close by... so I stopped by to visit.

His "puppy" is a huge monstrous dog with no manners. She jumped on me and barked and slobbered and chewed the whole time I was there. And he's a total bachelor. His house is white. White white white, everything white. Nothing on the walls... It's eerie.

We watched Shrek 2. Then I left.

Fairly boring. In all honesty, I'm surprised he called to see me again. I'm even more surprised that I went. Pleh.

I guess I had the half-hearted intention of getting drunk or laid or drunk and laid. But I can't imagine having sex while that monstrous dog sat at the base of the bed staring. *shudders*

A Little Dating Joke

2005-03-30T11:24:00.000-08:00

A lady, desperate for companionship, took out an ad in the local paper. It read:

"I need a man who won't beat me up and won't run away with other women, but he's gotta be great in bed."

The next day the doorbell rang, and she found a quadriplegic on her doorstep.

"You have no arms!" she said.

"I won't beat you up," he answered.

"You have no legs!" she said.

"I won't run away with other women," he answered.

She blushed and, embarassed, asked "But how can you be great in bed?"

He answered, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Mark's Second Date

2005-03-30T01:14:00.000-08:00

Last night I saw Mark. We were going to go to the bar, but he called as I was getting ready to make sure of the time, and I asked him if he just wanted to stay in. I brought the beer, he ordered a pizza, and we made a valiant attempt at watching Red Dwarf... but ended up just bullshitting the whole time.

He talks about his old frat quite a bit. Crazy stories about digging pits and filling them with Jell-O and making girls swim in it naked. He tells funny stories about living in Texas. I told him one of my favourite jokes:

Did you hear about the couple who got vaseline and window caulking confused?
...
The window fell out.

I'm so funny.

Mark and I can talk. For hours. Hours and hours. It was crazy and crazy fun.

And then... we had more crazy fun. It was fast and awkward like it always is the first time with someone new. But it certainly wasn't bad. And I was pleasantly surprised with his... equipment. *blush*

He gets up at 4 to go to work, so I didn't stay tonight. At 10 I decided I had to go home (we started early - 6:30ish), but we ended up just laying in bed snuggling and talking until after midnight. He called me sensual. Oooh, I'm so giddy just thinking about him.

We planned our third date for Friday/Saturday.

Am I in love with 27 more dates to go? Or will I find something horribly wrong with him? I wonder why he's still single...

The cutest thing: When he's really sleepy or more than a little innebriated, he affects a southern accent.

Can't sleep!

2005-03-29T01:16:00.001-08:00

My second date with Mark is tomorrow and I'm writing because I just can't sleep. I like him a lot! He's got that kind of rural mentality (he's from Texas), but he's a gentleman, and... he really likes me.

I've put on some weight, lately, and I was never a barbie-doll. But Mark seems to be incredibly attracted to me in that "You're beautiful" way, rather than that "Let me fuck you and never call you back" kind of way.

I'm seeing him tomorrow at 7 at a bar, and we plan on going to his place to watch Red Dwarf, a funny British sci-fi series, afterwards. I'm terrified and excited. We've spoken on the phone every day since our date. I think he finds me fascinating, and I find him hillarious. I'm actually thinking about breaking my 5-date rule and staying the night with him tomorrow.

I haven't had sex in 6 months. I haven't shaved my legs all winter! I suppose it's time to break out the razor and put away the granny-panties.

AHHHH! So nervous!

John's Second Date

2005-03-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

John is a dirty, dirty old man.

We went to a bar off of LVB and Windmill. I wish I could remember the name of it, because the service was absolutely excellent and the waitresses were hot. The only thing I didn’t like about it is that apparently cops like to go there, and even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I always feel really uncomfortable around cops. I think they must be psychic or something, and will look at me and know about all of the red lights I’ve run, drugs I’ve experimented with… and, oh yeah, there was that little warrant out for my arrest for a while…

But John is a dirty old man. In the car on the way there, he tells me about tying girls up. It was actually a pretty fascinating story he told me about a girlfriend he had who was a parapalegic in a wheel chair. She loved to be tied up, and at first he didn’t understand why. But then she told him that she feels trapped by her chair, and when he ties her up, she really IS trapped, so when he unties her she realizes how free she really is.

John has lots of fascinating stories. Mostly we talked about magic, and changelings, and extraordinary things I’ve always dismissed. Sure, I believe in magic. But I do have a hard time believing there are people who can shape-shift into animals, or that there are vampires running around South America killing cows. Maybe I need to lighten up.

I guess I’m just worried with John that it’ll become a sex thing and not a magic thing. Can it be both? That’s so hard for me.

I’m sure I’ll see him again.

Where do you go on a first date?

2005-03-27T17:47:00.000-08:00

Does anyone in Vegas have any cool ideas of places to go, things to do, etc, on a first date? I'm getting a little sick of bars... and so is my digestive system.

Date #3: George

2005-03-27T15:51:00.000-08:00

George is 35. He's a manager for FedEx making more than $80k a year. He has his own house, drives a red truck, and has an American Bulldog puppy.

George took me to a little bar on Eastern and Patrick called the Blue Ox. Everyone there is really talkative, nosy, and shit-faced. I loved the bar, but maybe not for a first date.

George was really really shy at first, and was sweating like a pig. I just tried to be as easy-going and relaxing as possible and tried not to ask him too many questions or put him on the spot in any way. He really loosened up after some time, though. He paid for everything (in three and 1/2 hours we ran up a $52 bar tab), and left an excellent tip for the bartender, things which I find very attractive in a man :) I guess... George just isn't that interesting. He's kind of middle of the road.

So...

How we met: I selected George at Great Expectations, and he said OK.

Blue Ox's first date rating: 6 out of 10. It's a fun bar! But it's a lot of pressure for a first date.

George's first date rating: 5 out of 10. He's agreeable, not particularly ugly or cute, not particularly interesting or boring... It's about a 50-50 chance I'll see him again.

Date #2: Mark

2005-03-26T01:24:00.000-08:00

I adore Mark. He's 24, a geo-thermal engineer or something (he tests the ground casinos are being built on so that they don't sink... like the Mandalay Bay... that his company worked on). He's slightly taller than I am. He has really short sandy blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes.

We met at Screwballs on Warm Springs between LVB and Industrial. It's a nice little old-people / cowboy bar. There was some guy who looked just like Dave Grohl, lead singer of Foo Fighters, there. So much so that I took note of a tattoo he had on his hand and looked up Dave Grohl photos, but apparently it's either new or that wasn't Dave Grohl. Eh.

We drank and told each other jokes. The best joke I've ever heard:

A man goes to his rabbi and says, "Rabbi, I'm having a problem. I've sent my son to the best Jewish schools, raised him in the strictest Jewish manner, and now he has come to me and told me he's going to marry a Catholic!"
The rabbi says, "It's good that you came to me. I, too, have had this problem. I sent my son to the best Jewish schools and raised him in the strictest Jewish manner. He almost became a rabbi himself. Three years ago, he came to me and told me he wanted to marry a Baptist and raise their children Baptist."
The man says, "Rabbi, what did you do?"
The rabbi says, "Well, in times of trouble, I turn to the lord."
The Lord says, "It's good that you came to me..."

Mark is hillarious. He was raised Jewish and is now... I suppose agnostic, though I don't know if he would describe himself in such a manner.

We went to Green Valley Ranch to see The Ring Two. We played air hockey. I won :) The movie sucked. Saying goodbye in the parking lot, we had that awkward first kiss moment that ended up dragging out for half an hour of forced small talk. But we did kiss. And it was nice. He almost talked me into going over to his place.

I felt so relaxed! So happy!

So...

How we met: He sent me a message on Adult Friend Finder.

Screwballs' First Date Rating: 6 out of 10. It's not dark enough, and there are old men there to oggle you until your date shows up. But the bar tender was really cute, and bought my date and I shots of JD.

The Ring Two: Don't even bother.

Mark's First Date Rating: 8 out of 10. He's funny, cute but not too cute, courteous, a gentleman, and financially stable. We clicked.

Date #1: John

2005-03-22T01:24:00.000-08:00

John is the most fascinating person I've ever met.

John is 55. When he was an undergrad, he saw Charles Bukowski perform at his college, and became a buddy of his, eventually living upstairs in his house. He also studied with Carlos Casteneda while going to grad school at UC Irvine. He was drafted during the Vietnam war and they sent him to South America to work with the rebels who later became the democratic governments. He's also a magician who has vampires and were-creatures for friends.

He has a plethora of stories. How many are true or not, I've yet to decide. But he's fascinating. We went to the Kopper Keg on Eastern just north of the 215. We drank and talked for hours. For four hours, I think.

There are parts of me that I just don't get to use around my friends and family. Like the parts of me that are immersed in the social sciences, the parts of me that study and practice the occult. That's what John and I talked about. And he was insightful and fascinating. He thinks this quest of mine is interesting. He called me "self aware," and meant it in a good way.

I'll be seeing him again on Sunday.

How we met: John read my profile at OK Cupid and sent me a message calling me interesting to him.

Kopper Keg's First Date Rating: 7 out of 10. It's dark, sleezy without being dirty. The bartender's are nice, and leave you alone after they bring the drinks.

John's First Date Rating: 9 out of 10. He's just so old. And he's so knowledgable I feel intimidated, to say the least. I couldn't relax! But I'd marry him in a heartbeat and have his babies if he were younger.

The Quest...

2005-03-21T01:24:00.000-08:00

The quest: I am going to meet at least 5 new people (guys, girls, couples, doesn't matter) a month for the next 6 months. That's at least 30 first dates. After each 5, I'm going to evaluate, see how I'm doing, and see what I've learned.

A little bit about me: I'm a 21 year old young woman going to college with a part-time job in the mall. I'm fairly attractive, though a little over-weight. I've been in serious relationships for the past three years, so I'm looking to branch out and see who's out there for me.

Where I'll meet these people: There's a list of links of people-matching websites that I use on the right. Mostly, I'm finding interesting people online. But I also plan to find them through school, friends, work, and what Great Expectations calls "chance." If you're interested in being one of the 30, leave a comment with your email address :)

The rating scale:
I'm rating both the locations and the dates on scales of 1 to 10 in regards to first dates.
If a location gets a 1, that means I think it is absolutely the worst possible place to take someone on a first date. If a location gets a 10, that means I think that it's the best possible place to take someone on a first date. If a location gets a 5, that means I think it's an average first date venue and I could take it or leave it.
If a date gets a 1, it means he/she/they was the worst possible first date I've ever had. I doubt anyone will recieve a one, because I've had some bad ones. I imagine the only scenario where this could happen would be if my hair caught on fire and he/she/they tried to put it out by throwing vodka on me and I burst into flames and had to go to the emergency room with first degree burns covering 90% of my body. Hopefully, this won't happen. If a date gets a 10, that means I want to marry him/her/them and have his/her/their babies and live happily ever after forever and ever. If a date gets a 5, that means there's a 50-50 chance of me giving him/her/them a second date.

Got it? Read on, have fun, leave comments - especially if you have some advice! ;)